Do you evaluate the relationships in your life? Really evaluate them?
Not just the ones that are obviously broken, but all of them. The ones you’ve had for years. The ones that feel comfortable. The ones you keep out of habit, out of history, out of loyalty to a version of yourself that may no longer exist.
Here is a way I have been thinking about it.
There are anchors, and there are sailboats.
Some people in your life help you sail. They push you forward, they believe in you, and they make you feel expansive. And some people are anchors. They hold you in place. They keep you small. They weigh on you in ways you don’t always notice until you realise how long you’ve been stuck in the same spot.
But here is the part that is harder to sit with.
Someone who helped you sail at one point in your life can become an anchor later. People change. You change. And what a relationship once was does not guarantee what it is now. That friendship that lit you up at 25 may be quietly draining you at 35. That person who once pushed you forward may now be the reason you are holding back.
Relationships are an emotional rollercoaster throughout our lives.
But the question is, do we evaluate them as we grow? Or do we just move ahead, carrying everything and everyone with us, never stopping to ask whether it still makes sense?
The Five People Theory
Jim Rohn said,
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
I truly believe this. The people closest to you are shaping you, whether you are aware of it or not. They are influencing how you think, what you believe is possible, how ambitious you allow yourself to be, and how you see yourself. You absorb their energy, their habits, their ceiling, or their limitlessness.
So here is an exercise to analyze:
Write down the five people you spend the most time with. Not who you wish you spent time with. Who you actually are. And then ask yourself honestly
Who are they becoming? Because that is likely who you are becoming, too.
Are they growing or are they staying still? Are they building something, or are they just talking about it? Do you leave their company feeling energised or drained? Do they challenge you, or do they keep you comfortable? Do they celebrate your growth, or does your growth make them uncomfortable?
This is not about cutting people off or being ruthless with the people you love. It is about being conscious. It is about understanding that your circle is not neutral. It is either pushing you forward or pulling you back. And once you see that clearly, you can make better choices about who you invest in, who you protect your time with, and who you need to slowly create distance from.
You don’t have to announce it or be dramatic about it. You start being intentional about who gets your time and your energy.
Because those five people? They are not just your friends. They are co-authoring the person you are becoming.
Choose them carefully.
Growth requires honesty, and sometimes the most honest thing you can do is look at the relationships in your life and ask, " Is this helping me sail or is this keeping me anchored?” You are allowed to ask that question. About anyone. Even the ones you love. Even the ones who have been there the longest.
Because the life you are building deserves the people who belong in it.
What I’m Reading
Start with Yourself - Emma Grede
There’s so much conversation around Emma Grede’s book Start With Yourself, and I’m excited to dive into it finally. My review of the book will be coming shortly.
Think Faster, Talk Smarter — Matt Abrahams
A practical guide to improving spontaneous speaking and clear communication under pressure. I want to improve how I think and speak, so I am trying this highly rated book.
What Else Dropped This Week
Off Script
How Alix Peabody Built Bev After 200 Rejections
Under the Hood
Selling Out: The Rise, Drift, and Humiliating End of Everlane
Note to Self
It is okay to move on from people.
It is okay to outgrow a friendship, a relationship, a version of your circle that no longer fits who you are becoming. It doesn’t make you disloyal. It doesn’t make you cold. It just means you are growing. And growth sometimes means your paths no longer run in the same direction.
It is also okay if someone moves on from you.
That one is harder to sit with. But it is just as true. Not everyone is meant to stay for every chapter. And when someone drifts away, resist the urge to make it mean something about your worth. It isn’t personal. It never was.
It just means you are going in different directions now.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Not everyone who starts the journey with you is meant to finish it with you. And that is okay. That is just life moving the way life moves.
Let people go with grace. Let yourself go with grace, too.
And trust that the people who are meant to be in your life, the ones who belong in this chapter, will be there.
Be bold. Be real. Be Anomalous.
— Sai Menon
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