I went to a book event this week.
My usual pattern is to show up with someone I know, or I go alone, sit quietly, take notes, talk to no one, and leave. I’ve done it enough times that it stopped feeling like a choice. It just became what I do.
This time, I wanted to break that.
So I volunteered. I checked in every guest who walked through the door. I had to talk to every single person who came in. It was uncomfortable. That was exactly the point.
And here’s what I’ve been sitting with since.
As we get older, it gets harder to meet new people. Not because we lose the ability, but because we stop putting ourselves in situations where it has to happen. We stick to what’s familiar. The same people, the same spaces, the same version of ourselves that we’ve gotten comfortable performing. And comfort, after a while, starts to feel like safety. But it isn’t. It’s just stillness dressed up as stability.
You cannot grow in that state.
Growth lives on the other side of uncomfortable. It lives in the room where you don’t know anyone. In the conversation, you almost didn’t start. In the version of yourself that shows up when you have no choice but to figure it out.
I didn’t change my life by checking in guests at a book event. But I showed myself something small and important that I can choose differently. That the pattern isn’t permanent. That discomfort, when you walk toward it instead of away, is actually just the feeling of expanding.
That’s worth something.
Start Here.
Volunteer at something.
Just like I did. Find an event, a cause, a gathering, and sign up to help. Volunteering removes the awkwardness of not knowing what to do with yourself in a room full of strangers. It gives you a role. A reason to talk to people.
Go somewhere alone. On purpose.
Not with a friend as backup. Alone. A dinner, a show, a class, an event. When you go alone, you are forced to engage. There is no comfortable corner to retreat to. Aloneness in a social setting, when you choose it deliberately, builds a kind of quiet confidence that you can’t get any other way.
Say yes to the thing that makes you hesitate.
You know the invitation. The one you read and immediately start finding reasons to decline. The event that sounds interesting but unfamiliar. The gathering where you won’t know many people. That hesitation is information. It’s pointing at exactly where the growth is. Say yes before you talk yourself out of it.
Put yourself in rooms you haven’t been in before.
New industries. New neighborhoods. New circles. Different kinds of people live differently from you. Familiarity is comfortable, but it is also a ceiling. The most interesting shifts in how you think come from exposure to people whose lives look nothing like yours.
What I’m Reading
Think Faster, Talk Smarter — Matt Abrahams (Finished)
A practical guide to improving spontaneous speaking and clear communication under pressure. I want to improve how I think and speak, so I am trying this highly rated book.
South to Freedom - Alice L Baumgartner
A historical account of enslaved people fleeing south to Mexico and how this challenged U.S. slavery laws. This is for my book club, and I'm truly enjoying it.
What Else Dropped This Week
Off Script
How Katherine Built Francis Henri During The Pandemic.
Under the Hood
Anjali Sud: The Builder CEO Who Rewrote the Rules of Streaming
Note to Self
When you learn from people of different walks of life, something shifts in you quietly.
You build empathy. The kind that comes from sitting across from someone whose life looks nothing like yours and finding yourself in their story anyway. You build community beyond the people who already think like you, look like you, live like you. You grow.
And here is what I keep coming back to.
You have this one life. To explore. To learn. To do.
So why are you resisting yourself?
Not the world. Yourself. Because that’s what it actually is when you shrink back. When you don’t start the conversation. When you leave early. When you stay in the same rooms, with the same people, and wonder why nothing feels new.
Stop waiting for the right moment. Walk into the room. Talk to the stranger. Let yourself be a beginner somewhere new.
You only get one shot at this. Don’t spend it playing it safe.
Be bold. Be real. Be Anomalous.
— Sai Menon
Follow for more Be Anomalous stories, conversations, and behind-the-scenes.
Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube | @iamsaimenon